Thanks babe! xxx
Thanks babe! xxx
Aww thankyou sweetheart, that means a lot to me xxxx
Once we arrived at the hospital Lucy and I were separated, her being rushed off to the operating theatre and me being taken to a small room of my own. A doctor came in straight away and he wheeled me to have x-rays taken. After an elongated wait I was told I had a broken rib and a sprained ankle. Nothing compared to Lucy. I got the cut on my face stitched up and was left in my room hooked up to an IV.
They said I was severely dehydrated and malnourished and that I would have to stay in hospital for about a week so they could be sure I was healing.
Everyone I asked refused to give me any answers as to what happened to Lucy. They all said that they could only disclose information to family which is a load of bullshit if you ask me considering I came in here with her!
I felt exhausted so I was left alone in my room to rest. Fucking hell im going to lose it. This place is too bloody quiet. All I can hear is the bloody machine next to me buzzing. Looking around the room I was interrupted when I heard a light knock on my door. The door opened slowly and a mop of curly hair popped inside causing me to smile.
“Oh thank god, im about to lose it, this place is the definition of boring.”
Harry chuckled at me before closing the door and walking over to my bed. He sat on the chair next to the bed and reached his hand out taking mine in it.
“Im so happy you’re back, and alive.”
His voice was barely above a whisper and I could feel my heart break when I saw tears streaming down his face.
“Haz, i-im back now. Its ok, we’re going to be ok. Im fine, look at me… How long were we gone for?”
My voice wavered as I spoke and I could feel the tears pricking the back of my eyes. Fucking hell.
“It was- you were gone five days.”
I gasped at his answer and held his hand tighter. I knew we were gone a while but five days, I swear it didn’t feel like that long. I only remember waking up like two or three times, geez.
“Damn, those drugs musta been strong.”
Harry chuckled at me before letting go of my hand and reaching up to his neck. He unclasped the chain around it before bringing it to my own neck and re-doing it. My key necklace fell on my chest as I ran my fingers over the familiar metal.
“We had no idea if you’d even find that. I remember Lucy got so frustrated because she couldn’t write the letter. She’s a fighter that one.”
Harry laughed before his smile faded.
“What happened to her Harry, you obviously know.”
He sighed before taking my hand again.
“When I uh, when I asked the nurse told me she was in surgery. Her arm was beyond broken, she had broken ribs and her stomach lining was punctured when she was stabbed. Niall lost it, it’s like he is a completely different person.”
Our conversation was disrupted when Louis came bursting into the room.
“Lucy, out of, surgery, come. They are waiting for all of us before they tell us what’s going on. Niall is losing it.”
Louis spoke in between breaths as Harry instantly grabbed a wheel chair and pushed it beside the bed. He wheeled my IV around before lifting me and placing me in the wheel chair. Almost instantly we followed quickly behind Louis down the hallways towards Lucy’s room.
When we passed the Intensive Care Unit sign my stomach dropped. This can’t be good. I could hear Niall’s cries before we even entered the same hallway as him. My heart hurt at the sound and I wished we could go back and avoid this situation all together.
“Ahh good, you’re all here. Follow me if you would.”
Niall was by the doctor’s side in an instant as he opened the door and walked into the room. Harry and I were the last ones through the door and honestly I wish we never walked in.
Lucy laid almost frozen on the hospital bed, bruises and scratches covering her body. Her arm was in a cast and rested on her stomach. Her eyes were closed and her hair was sprawled on the pillow.
“Why isn’t she awake?!”
Niall spoke rather loudly as he took up a spot right beside her bed, his hand grasping hers already.
“Lucy’s case, well it’s rare to say the least, you don’t normally see someone have that array of injuries from one incident. Due to the extent and severity of the injuries she sustained her body has taken its own measures to protect itself from any more harm.”
“Wh-what does that mean?”
Niall asked the question that im sure everyone wanted answered. We’re teenagers; we don’t understand medical talk…
“It means that Lucy’s body is currently in a comatose state. At this point in time it is impossible to predict just how long it will be until Lucy wakes up, it could be days, even months until we see any triggering brain activity suggesting she might come back.”
Louis look confused as he spoke but I have to say, I don’t think any of us really know what it means…
“A comatose state medically, is when a person is unconscious for more than six hours. While in this state Lucy cannot be forcibly awakened nor can she respond normally to pain, light and sound. She is unable to move on her own nor can she speak or move. We have, however, had incidences where our comatose patient experiences brief periods of time where she is aware of what is happening around her. Now before you do anything, while she is aware she cannot physically respond in anyway, like moving her hands or even opening her eyes.
I want each of you to speak to her and each other as it may trigger something and bring her back to us. Sometimes hearing a voice or sound that she associates with safety can send messages through her body saying it’s alright to wake up now.”
The doctor paused as he looked at Lucy with a pained expression on his face.
“Is that all doc?”
Harry spoke this time as he rubbed his thumb over my hand.
“There is one other thing and it is no case small. We took an MRI of Lucy and, well, the result was less than pleasing. Due to a suspected trauma to her skull Lucy has in fact suffered from mild brain haemorrhaging.”
Gasps were heard around the room and by now there was not a dry eye in the room. Even though we didn’t know exactly what it meant we had seen enough TV and heard enough stories to know it was far from good.
“Luckily we found out soon enough and were able to stop the haemorrhaging before it could excel any further. Due to the area that was affected, there is a uh, there is a very high chance that Lucy could lose some, if not all of her memory up to a certain time. By that I mean she could possibly lose her memory anywhere from days to years before the incident. If im to be completely honest here, it would take a miracle for Lucy to have her memory completely intact.”
The doctor finished talking and the room was completely silent. No one saw this coming. No one expected it to be this bad.
“I’ll leave you all be, if you need me or have any questions feel free to contact me at any time of the day.”
The doctor walked out of the room leaving us all in a solemn silence. All six of us stood around the room staring at the girl who changed all of our lives. Our heads all snapped away from Lucy when Niall jumped up and went running out of the room. Louis was quick to follow him as we all stood there stunned.
“How bout we get you back to your room to rest up?”
Harry spoke into my ear quietly as he rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. I nodded not being able to will myself to speak. Harry said goodbye to Liam and Zayn before wheeling me out of the room and down the hallways towards my own hospital room.
One we got there he lifted me into the bed before taking his spot on the chair next to me again. My eyes started drooping but I couldn’t sleep.
He looked like he was about to fall asleep himself but he still lifted his eyes to meet mine.
“Can you sleep up here with me? Please.”
He smiled lightly before taking his shoes off and climbing in positioning me so we were spooning.
“Of course baby.”
His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist and for the first time in god know how long I finally felt safe. In Harry’s arms.
“Good night Harry.”
“Good night beautiful.”
He kissed my temple as my eyes closed a final time and I welcomed the safety I hadn’t felt in so long.
As soon as Niall ran out of the room I followed soon after him knowing he was about to have another breakdown. Well, he isn’t the only one. That was a hell of a lot to take in.
I followed Niall through the halls and out to the small terrace our floor luckily had. He burst through the door and let out an animalistic scream as soon as they closed behind me. He walked straight over to the brick wall and punch it swearing as blood trickled from his knuckles.
“Why Louis, why does this fucking happen to her. All this fucking shit in her life and he comes back and fucks it up again!”
Niall paced around the terrace as tears streamed down his face.
“Fucking hell Louis, she might never wake from that you know, they say she will but they don’t fucking know shit. They don’t fucking know shit.”
He sat on one of the benches near the railing so I made my way over sitting next to him. He had his face buried in his hands as he shook slightly from his crying. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders as his crying grew quieter.
“She’s a strong girl Ni, she’s going to make it through this. We both know full well what she’s been through. This is nothing. You watch, in a week maybe she will be running around with us playing pranks on the others again.”
Niall sat back leaning against the wall as he smiled lightly.
“How did you get rid of all those cups anyway Lou?”
I laughed lightly thinking back to the time Lucy and Niall played that prank on me.
“Ahhh a smart man never tells.”
He laughed lightly before we settled into a silence. We both looked over the city below us as everyone else in the world went on about their normal lives.
“You should uh, you should call the girls and get them up here, I’m sure they’d want to be here.”
Niall spoke from next to me never once taking his eyes off the bustling city lights below us.
“Uh yeah, right, I’ll uh, I’ll go call El now.”
Niall nodded silently as I walked away from him to the other side of the terrace. I hadn’t spoken to El since our fight about a week ago. I still don’t know why she won’t talk to her; maybe this will finally give her a reason to.
I don’t know how long I stared at my phone for before I finally pressed the call button next to her name. The sun had long set over the city and my breath could be seen as I breathed in and out.
The ringing of the phone broke through the silence and I could feel my heart beating faster with every passing second. I was about to give up when her quiet voice floated through my ears.
“Uh yeah, hey El.”
My voice broke randomly and it sounded hearse from all the crying I have done.
“What’s wrong Lou? You sound like you’re crying.”
“Uh it’s a few things but uh its- Lucy is in the hospital. Her, her father found her and took her and another friend of ours and um he uh he beat them and Lucy uh, she’s in a um she’s in a coma.”
Tears fell silently from my eyes as I struggled to tell El what was happening. I heard her gasp once I finished speaking and it was a long time before either of us spoke.
“Oh my god Lou, that’s terrible. I’ll call Dani and Perrie. Is it alright if we all come up? I uh, I wanted to talk to you in person to. There’s something I want to say but I can’t do it over the phone.”
My heart strained as the possibilities of what she could possibly say drifted through my head.
“Uh yeah sure, it’s uh it’s no problem. Text me when you get here and I’ll come get you all.”
“Thanks Lou, i-I love you.”
My whole body had tingles go through it as she spoke those three words I haven’t heard her say in so long.
“I love you too El, see you soon.”
I ended the call and let a small smile spread across my face. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost just yet.
We’re down in reception, no rush
I left my spot on the couch and made my way out of the room down to reception.
After I got off the phone with El, Niall and I made our way back to Lucy’s room where they had already bought another couch in as well as some chairs. Zayn and Liam were already perched on one of the couches and Harry was in with Kyla. Niall immediately took his spot next to Lucy and his hand found hers instantly where he’s been sat for the last three hours.
The lift doors opened on the ground floor and I saw Eleanor’s brown wavy hair instantly. I walked over to her Perrie and Dani and they all smiled at me once they noticed me.
Eleanor remained silent but let a smile cross her face briefly.
“Uh, you two can head up. Its floor thirteen and room 66C.”
Danielle and Perrie nodded at me and said thankyou before walking off and making their way upstairs where the others were waiting. Eleanor and I stood silently facing each other hoping the other person would talk.
She’d changed slightly since I last saw her. Her fringe hung straight down her forehead and she had dyed it a lighter colour. She also had dark circles under her eyes and her eyes were red from crying im guessing.
“Is there somewhere private we can talk?”
Her sad eyes met mine as I nodded and motioned for her to follow me. I lead her towards the elevator where we got in in silence and rode to level thirteen. The elevator doors opened and I took her hand lightly causing her to jump. Her hand stayed in mine though.
I lead her through the already too familiar halls and out to the terrace Niall had discovered earlier in the night. It must’ve been nearing midnight by now but no one could sleep with all the drama going on.
Closing the door behind us I placed a chair in front of it so no one could interrupt us. Turning around I saw El had perched herself on one of the chairs facing the city. I walked over and sat down beside her. We sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke barely louder than a whisper.
“I thought I was pregnant Lou.”
Mt stomach turned and my mouth fell open. She thought she was pregnant, and she didn’t even tell me. She didn’t tell me.
“Im sorry Lou, I wanted to tell you so bad but I didn’t want you to stress out, you were in such a good place with your job and I just, I didn’t want to cause trouble.”
Her voice was shaking as I stared frozen at the city in front of me.
“When did this happen? How?”
“Well we both know how Lou, you didn’t wear a condom I threw up the night before so the pill wouldn’t have worked. When I got home I felt really sick and I uh I realised I was late for the first time in years Lou, I freaked out. Neither of us are ready for a kid. We’re only twenty one after all. It would have been too early to take a test so I had to wait a week before I could and that’s why I was so cold. The guilt was just eating me up, I thought pushing you away would make everything easier but it didn’t. I needed you Lou, I just didn’t realise when I should have. Im so sorry.”
We sat in silence as I processed all of this in my head. I should be angry at her, shouldn’t i? I should be mad that she didn’t tell me, I know I should. But im not. I get why she was scared. Not to sound conceited but I am in the biggest boy band at the moment and the paparazzi and media feed off anything they can get their hands on. If El was to fall pregnant the media would have a frenzy and the rumour mill would sky rocket. I understand.
“Lou im so sorry, I jus-“
I cut her off my feverishly placing my lips and taking her cheeks in my hands. She responded as passionately and wrapped her arms around my neck as I pulled her onto my lap so she was straddling me. I pulled away slowly and looked her in the eyes.
“I understand. I get why you did it. Im not angry. I love you Eleanor Jane Calder, I love you so damn much. And while it wasn’t our time to have a kid now I promise one day it will be. I love you.”
A tear fell down her cheek so I leaned up and kissed it away. She giggled before kissing my lips lightly.
“I love you Louis Tomlinson. Forever and always.”
“Forever and always.”
Thankyou sooooo much to the people who have sent me things so far, i really admire you all for sending me these. You are all so brave! If you ever need to talk about anything message me and i can give you my email address for you to contact me 24/7
So im doing this assignment for art and i was wondering if anyone, anon or not, could please send me phrases, stories or whatever if they have ever felt negatively about there body in anyway. It could be something simple like “I hate my stomach” anything really. I just want the phrases to use as a background for my painting. If you could help that would be amazing!
p.s im not going to post any of them on my blog, i will reply if i feel the need to but apart from that the only thing im using is the text.